National Poetry Day - Do Limericks Count

A few years ago, we penned a collection of musical limericks.  Since it's National Poetry Day today, here's a link to the whole lot! 

Musical Limericks from the Whittaker Library

World Poetry Day!

Yesterday was World Ballet Day, as you'll have noticed from our last blogpost.  (Ah, ballet - poetry in motion!)  There's something rather nice about World Ballet Day being followed by World Poetry Day.  The Whittaker Library - not surprisingly, in a library for dramatic and musical performers - has plenty of poetry.

• Take a look at our poetry collection HERE.
• Visit the Scottish Poetry Library website HERE.
• We wouldn't want our musicians to feel left out, so here are some musical limericks to brighten their day:- click HERE.
• Karen has a particular interest in bardic things, so let's revive her posting about Welsh bards while we're at it!  HERE.

Musical Limericks for One and All

Do you remember the series of musical limericks we posted here a couple of years ago?  Blogging about clarinet techniques suddenly reminded us that there are loads of them - woodwind, brass, strings, singers - no-one escaped.

CLICK HERE - just as a diversion!  

New Limerick - The Music Librarian

(IAML made us do it! )

There once was a music librarian

Whose image was never a scary 'un. 

But on a bad day, if the weather was gray, 

She was frizzy and stare-ey and glare-y then. 

Gun at the Temples! Music Librarian Challenged to Write a jingle "On Air"

A bit taken aback, 'Whittaker' was challenged to improvise a jingle, on air, for the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland Bridge Week.  Well, it rhymed.  Can't say more than that!  It was live on air, and pretty much about air, but we were allowed to use a computer to write the words down first ...

The students who went on the bridge

Declared that it felt like a fridge

The Cowcaddens chill

Gave them all quite a thrill

And no sign of the whine of a midge.

To be honest, 'Whittaker' writes better musical limericks than that.  No instrumentalist is safe .... check them out here!

Flute Music!

The David Nicholson bequest of flute music is gradually being added to the Whittaker Library stock, a significant enhancement.  Search 'David Nicholson bequest' in our catalogue to see what's been catalogued  so far.

'Whittaker' was inspired to write another limerick.  (Forgive the liberties taken with names, chosen purely to make the verse rhyme!)

A batch of fresh scores for the flute
Encourages flautists to toot,
And you sure cannot beat
Such a foot-tapping treat
As a medley of Prelleur and Poot.

Musical Limericks Again: The Bassoon

A muso who played the bassoon
Was a woeful and sad-looking loon
He wanted to doze,
Had a sore blocked up nose, and could
NOT hear to play things in tune. 

BASSOON OR OBOE?

Until you can make a good reed,
You'll spend far more cash than you need;
But despite months of trying,
There is no denying -
It's a very tough challenge indeed.  

Cello Woe - a Warning to Cellists

A cello is mellow and low
But not the best thing if you know
You'll be busking outdoors
Whilst a howling gale roars
And the rain's changing slowly to snow.

Whittaker begs to reassure his readers that this is entirely fictional and relates to no cellist known to 'himself'.

Trumpets, Tubas, Cellos and a Glasgow Night Out

Whittaker offers you a few more musical limericks at this light-hearted time of year:-

A lass in the proud Philharmonic
Slipped out for a quick gin and tonic;
Her tuba was flat -
It had angered her cat -
Though the high notes were quite supersonic.

***

**

*

A student who worshipped his cello
Came home feeling genially mellow;
I say, he proclaimed,
Glasgow parties are famed,
Serenade me till dawn, my good fellow.

***

**

*

No woman with flair on the trumpet
Would want you to call her a crumpet;
You might think she's cute
'Til she picks up a mute,
Picks her target and offers to thump it.

 

Bassoon Playing Loon and Guitar Playing Star

'Whittaker' can't bear to sit twiddling his thumbs.  These musical limericks were written riding home on the Glasgow Subway!

A fellow who played the bassoon
Declared his new crook was a boon;
Not for him silver plated,
This was far higher rated,
Rising stars always aim for the moon.

A lady who played the guitar
Could be heard strumming chords from afar.
Her long-held ambition,
Indeed was a mission
To be billed as a red-carpet star. 

Clarinet Coquette

image courtesy of DeviantArt,com

A girl with a new clarinet

Was told it was poor etiquette

To rehearse Claire de Lune

By the light of the moon

Just to see how much feedback she’d get.







.
A cellist who played ukulele
Would practise both instruments daily.
Though he tried to play Bach
On the uke for a laugh,
It was hardly the stuff for a ceilidh.

Instrumental Blogs - Harp

'Whittaker' thought it might be helpful to share some of the blogs and websites that various instrumentalists create.  With complete disregard for 'score order', let's start with the harp - you see a lot of them around Christmas time! 
 

• Harp Column
• WireStrungHarp
• WireStrungClarsach.org
• ClarsachSociety
• American Harp Society
• Historical Harp Society of Ireland
• International Society of Folk Harpers and Craftsmen - http://www.folkharpsociety.org/ 
• United Kingdom Harp Association

And a promise - remember the series of musical limericks I wrote a year or two ago?  I somehow omitted to write one for the harp.  This will be corrected immediately:-

When God heard the bard on his harp,

He complained it was horribly sharp.

‘Over here on this cloud,

England’s bells are too loud’,

Said the Welshman, ‘so kindly don’t carp!’

Musical Limericks Again?

D'you remember Whittaker's series of musical limericks last year?  Well, it seems the brass ones in particular attracted quite a bit of interest.  (I looked at the stats!)  I'm curious - why the interest in brass players?!

So, here's a quick link back to the whole series - now, would anyone care for a new set?

Musical limericks no.10 (GO VOCAL)

It's the singers' turn ...

The Highs

A cute little Scottish soprano

First encountered her spouse in Milano,

So they cancelled her flight

And were up half the night

Singing amorous songs at the piano.

And the Lows

The contralto said "Bonnie Dundee"

Would suit her range better in C;

But when asked to transpose,

Her accompanist froze;

checked his diary, and croaked, "I'm not free!"

Schwarzkopf (shampoo) anyone?

A vain, image-conscious young tenor

Said hair products packaged for men, or

For family use

Using fruit-fragranced juice

Were not nearly as luscious as henna.

From the valleys

A baritone lad from Caerphilly

Said Strauss operette were silly;

A La Scala role

Was his ultimate goal,

Via Glyndebourne or first, Piccadilly.

 

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)
Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)
Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)
Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)
Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)
Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)
Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)
Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)
Musical Limericks no.9 (percussion)
Musical Limericks no.10 (singers)

Musical limericks no.9

Last week, 'Whittaker' rendered the entire symphony orchestra into limericks.  The muse is illusive this week, but here's one for the kitchen section of the orchestra:-

Dry-cleaning blues

A statuesque girl on percussion

Once borrowed a dress from a Russian,
The dress was acrylic,
The label Cyrillic,
But it shrank, and she ended up blushin’.

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)

Musical Limericks no.8 (The bottom end of the orchestra)

Image from MiltonGlaser.com

Cellist goes Continental

A cellist was going to France,
And excitedly  burst into dance;
A gavotte and a jig
In a strange-looking wig
Made the coppers look very askance!

Racy Bass

A lady who plays double bass

Has a strangely implacable face

If she missed a rest

You’d never have guessed

Though her heartbeat might silently race!

Flat footed

A timpani player from Troon

Tuned his timps imperceptibly doon;

When meant to play C,

He struck a low B;

“YOU ARE FLAT!”, yelled the maestro, “You loon!”

*****

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)

Musical Limericks no.7 (Strings)

The old violinist

The old chap who played violin

Was dreadfully, painfully thin;

And his delicate hands

Couldn't fold music stands,

Lest he damaged his papery skin.

Viola with Attitude

A posh gent who led the violas

Had solid gold put in his molars;

His flashy gold teeth

Lit the music beneath,

And set off his cape, gloves and bowlers.

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)



Cellos and Bellows: librarians' tweetup #GLTU4

Glasgow Library Tweetups Pay Us a Visit

Assorted librarians gathered to visit the Whittaker Library at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, and then the museum and newly refurbished library at the National Piping Centre, last Friday (18th May).  This was a joint effort organised by Anabel Marsh, with Karen McAulay at the Royal Conservatoire and James Beaton at the Piping Centre coordinating the visits to each venue.

Preceded by the James Clark lunchtime concert at the Royal Conservatoire, and rounded off by a meal at the Tryst, a congenial and informative visit was had by all.

The event has been blogged by Anabel Marsh - here, on the Glasgow Library Tweetups blog.  (There are pictures!) Anabel has also compiled a Storify story, to collate participant feedback - here. 

James Beaton, piping librarian and oral history project manager ('Noting the Tradition') at the National Piping Centre, contributed his own limerick report on the event:-

The blogs are quite full of it

James and Karen's big hit

They came, saw our books

And our most learned nooks

And went off and thought for a bit.

Musical limericks No.6

Just one, this time:-

The Saxophonist's Schedule

A saxophone player called Tom

Is frequently asked where he’s from;

Well, such a globetrotter

Has a trip-planning jotter -

What a guy, what a Mensch, what an homme!

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)

Musical Limericks no.5

Tango for Tuba?

An old senorita on tuba

Commissioned a piece from Franz Gruber,

She got him quite merry 

On plenty of sherry

Then whisked Gruber and tuba to Cuba.

 "The number you're calling, knows ..."

A lady who played the trombone

Was prone not to answer the phone

"Well, I just cannot reach

When I'm trying to teach",

She explained, in a piqued, injured tone.

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)

Musical Limericks no.4. The Piper's Reply

Blue-Skye Thinking

There was a young man from Skye

Poked by a bass drone in the eye
He said to the blaggard
Your crunluath is haggard
And your hiharin fair makes me cry!

Fabulous image from Aros on Skye
http://www.aros.co.uk/wp-content/uploads//piper2.png

Authored by James Beaton, Piping Librarian and Project Officer, College of Piping, Glasgow

Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)

Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)

Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)

Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)

Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)

Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)

Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)

Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)