Library and Information Services, Royal Conservatoire of Scotland

Friday, 2 December 2016

Whittaker's Christmas Jokes

We do like our Christmas puns and jokes ...

  • Why did Santa’s workshop get shut down?   Elf and safety! 
  • What’s the best Christmas present in the world?  A broken drum. You just can’t beat it! 
  •  "Mother, don't get alarmed, but I’m at the hospital.”  "Son, please. You’ve been a doctor there for eight years now."  
  • a picture shared by Eliana today:-

  • HUSBAND: What’s that banging on the roof?? WIFE: I’ll go and check….. *gasp* I can’t believe it! It looks like reindeer!!
    HUSBAND: I can’t believe it either, dear. Forecast was for snow.

  • What did Adam say to his wife at Christmas?  (Wait for it ...)  It's Christmas, Eve! 
  • In Tesco, a man was attempting to shoplift a whole turkey. As he was making for the door, the security guard shouted: “Haw, what are you doing with that?” To which the shoplifter replied: “Roast tatties, stuffing and cranberry sauce”

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