Library and Information Services, Royal Conservatoire of Scotland

Tuesday 22 May 2012

Musical Limericks no.8 (The bottom end of the orchestra)

Image from MiltonGlaser.com

Cellist goes Continental



A cellist was going to France,
And excitedly  burst into dance;
A gavotte and a jig
In a strange-looking wig
Made the coppers look very askance!


Racy Bass



A lady who plays double bass
Has a strangely implacable face
If she missed a rest
You’d never have guessed
Though her heartbeat might silently race!


Flat footed



A timpani player from Troon
Tuned his timps imperceptibly doon;
When meant to play C,
He struck a low B;
“YOU ARE FLAT!”, yelled the maestro, “You loon!”

*****
Musical Limericks no.1 (flute, oboe, clarinet)
Musical Limericks no.2 (bassoon)
Musical Limericks no.3 (trumpet, horn)
Musical Limericks no.4 (Piper, by James Beaton)
Musical Limericks no.5 (tuba, trombone)
Musical Limericks no.6 (saxophone)
Musical Limericks no.7 (violin, viola)
Musical Limericks no.8 (cello, double bass, timpani)

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